After agreeing with me at two previous appointments that my request to wait until due date to scheduale the csection and agreeing that it was a "good idea"...he acted as if we never had said conversation. He asked if i decided on a day in the 39th week. I will talk more about why i had decided 40th week later on...BUT an obvious reason was that I now believe a baby is not ready until its ready, actually this is common knowledge...I have reseached and done so much pondering on my past expiriences. Another reason why this Doc has ventured to the dark side---as i was laying on the table he bumped my foot and "ooopps, my peripheral vision is gone" NO WAY IS THIS GUY GETTING NEAR ME OR MY WOMB WITH A SCALPEL! Plain as youghurt...I am just not doing it. He then does and ultrasound, and uses several scare tactics, "your placenta has calcifications." "what does this mean" "your placenta is getting old and blood vessels are stopping and you will be going into labor soon"....So, from my understanding this happens and is normal and fine and my placenta is doing it's J.O.B. So WTF is your point Doc? Then he went onto to say that he still cannot figure out why I opted out of the Gest. Diabetes test.
It is perfectly acceptable for a woman in good health to have a trial of labor after two c-sections. I know some certain family members are concerned for our saftey though labor, I would like for those of you to ponder this: A repeat csection poses the SAME risk as a VBA2C. The information is there you just have to look for it if you don't believe me!
I have so many reasons to NOT have another csection and I will list them out for you if you feel compelled to know why i would chose a natural labor:
- Recovery is too painful.
- Impossbile to nurse and recover with an IV in your arm and not being able to sit up...having NOBODY there to hand you the baby.
- CATHETER--need I say more. F that!!
- The idiot anesthetisiologist who hits a nerve in your spinal column during a spinal tap and blames you for jerking uncontrolably.
- 3+ days in the hospital away from my babies, who need me.
- 6+ weeks of constantly telling my two older babies why they cannot sit on my lap due to thier wiggly nature and fear of them landing accidently on my incision or why I cannot pick them up (how am i expected to hurl them up into thier carseats?)
- A doped up unmemorable labor, in which i cannot enjoy being the first to hold my baby, or having my Love be the first to hold our baby and cut the cord after it stops pulsating. Bonding immediatley with both my husband and child. (unmemorable may be the wrong word, both my previous births where memorable, and i enjoyed the fact that baby was finally here safe. By unmemorable...I mean being to morphined up, which is not something I enjoyed)
- Laying on an OR table with your guts open, and being awake to hear it, but strapped down, and feeling them tugging and pulling on insides! This sounds like a nightmare to me, like i am a dead body on a table that is still able to think about whats going on around me.
"studies on VBA2C that do not distinguish between between induced, augmented, and spontaneous VBA2C labors in their results"
Here is another gem: "it is entirely within your right to insist that you would rather take on the relative risks of VBA2C than the relative risks of a third (or fourth, fifth, etc.) cesarean surgery. While uterine rupture is a serious occurrence (though one that is not always, or even often, catastrophic), the risks of cesarean surgery are also serious, and even potentially catastrophic, occurrences. When compared with a vaginal birth, a c-section carries an increased risk of hemorrhage, blood clots, and bowel obstruction for the mother; and an increased risk of breathing difficulties around the time of birth and childhood and adulthood asthma for the baby. What’s more, one’s risk of hysterectomy, placenta previa and placenta accreta in future pregnancies increase significantly with each subsequent cesarean section."
I want for everyone to just let me and my body do what it needs to do, and what it was meant to do by design. I want people to stop pestering me and asking when is baby going to be ready, and are you sure thats safe? And why on earth would you want to have labor with drugs? I want to be able to walk around during labor if i need it, I want to be able to listen to music and watch TV or get on my computer or just sit in a bath tub. (I dont even get to do that on a regular basis or even on Mothers Day for christs sake!) I want my labor to be on mine and Scarletts schedule and not on anyone elses.
Its about us not anyone else!
I am still going to smile and although at this point the only person I truely feel believes that I CAN do it, is Jesse, thats all I need. I am off to go figure out my next move in the and kiss
my babies and do all the things I need to do before she gets here.
Please pray, send good vibes, have faith and believe that I CAN do this.
Love and hugs,
Jenn*
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